Chapter 8

“...this knife...I hate myself for even thinking of this. Nonetheless, going through with it...”

Fumes filling every corner of the room create a thick blanket over my eyes, and the disorientation from Lily’s punch allows me no agency to balance myself. Lily’s punch? No, this is Malva’s punch. I think? In a sudden rush of pain, blood begins to pour down my nose and into my lips, and the metallic aroma taints every breath I take. A sting starts to rise from the bridge of my nose into my eyes, forcing tears to fall out. I try to wipe the blood off my mouth, but at this rate, I’m just spreading it to my arm and shirt without making any progress.

I didn’t want to believe it was true, but Malva's ability to overpower Lily should not have been a question of “if” but “when.” I was too scared to lose Lily in her decision that I ignored the red flags from when she was asleep. Looking back, it seems so obvious that she was trying to hold down Malva with all those kicks and cries.

“Now is not time for thinking about what we should have done,” Imelda thinks. “We need to get out of here.”

Imelda’s right. At least I didn’t leave earlier; now, I’m the only one who can save those who are left in this facility.

Malva’s grin pierces through Lily’s soft face. I need to get a hold of myself, and somehow get Malva out without hurting Lily. But how am I going to do that when I’m leaning against a wall, barely able to breathe or see?! I need to think of something. Come on, there must be a way out of here!

My irritated eyes try to search for her in the fumes. The lime green of her shirt flashes around me, but every time I blink, I lose her again. Her haunting laughter grows closer every second.

Goddamn it, where is she?! Every time I get even a glimpse of her, my mind screams at me to swing before she can get the chance, but my body freezes.

In the corner of my eye, a fist flies out of the smoke, jabbing me again in the jaw. Slamming against the burning floor, I scramble to recover; but Lily sits on my stomach, crushing my organs. Punch after punch, and I can’t see through my bruised eye anymore. I need to do something! Anything! The muscles in my face ache and pull in every direction, and my brain beats against the floor. The tears that try to moisturize my eyes aren’t helping; as they dry up before they can even fall out. The clots in my nose do not allow any air to get in, and if anything, the air that does get in only pushes the clumps deeper. On top of everything, I can't catch a breath from my throat either without wheezing through my cut, dried-out lips. A deep and moist cough tosses out the clots from my nose that have fallen down my throat.

“Oh, Jada, why did you trust her?" Malva bellows through Lilywise’s voice. "Well? After she lied to your face, time and time again. After you know what she did to you. Do you really think she’s innocent? You were so gullible for her sweet, little heart. Now she thinks she can use me and take the credit for my work? I don’t think so!”

Don’t listen.

A viceral punch makes my chin go numb.

Malva is just trying to get into my head.

A second punch leaves me seeing white for a few moments.

Should I be listening?

A third punch knocks out whatever air is left in my lungs.

No, she’s just lying to me. Right, Imelda?

My mind goes blank.

Imelda?

Lily’s body grabs ahold of my throat for a moment, lining me up for a hit that leaves a ring in my ear.

She can’t be telling the truth. No, Lily would never lie to us like that. She wouldn’t trick us, right?

Still no response. It’s not that she’s not there. She’s just refusing to give me an answer.

It doesn’t matter right now. Does it? No, it doesn’t. I need to find something to do. Lily lets out a dry cough, followed by a wheeze that rumbles in her throat. One significant hit will get her down, but I wouldn’t hurt Malva. It would still be Lily’s body taking the hit. Plus, I don’t think a standard punch would get her head beaten enough that she would give me a fighting chance.

“All she tells are fucking lies, and you know it!” the virus overtaking Lily continues, “I heard it all! All the lies about the kidnapping, the lies of how I apparently was the only one who went berserk. Oh! I love how she covers up the shit she has done to Coroz and I like it never even happened. I heard it all and laughed while you just ate it all up in hopes that she’s some great person!” Malva lands a blow that makes my head twist to the right.

The doorknob from Lily’s room catches my eye. If I hit her with that, it will be enough to take her out. But, I won’t be hitting Malva on the head; instead, I’ll be smashing Lily’s head. She doesn't deserve that; she’s done everything she could to protect me. Lily’s been put through enough as it is, and I don’t want to hurt her unnecessarily. Right, Imelda? She’s a good person, right?

Still no response from her.

Why won’t she answer me?!

“Do you hear me, Jada!?” she screams in my face, holding my tank top in her fist. The heat of her breath incinerates my face, and the blood gushing from my nose burns from the warmth. She coughs and wheezes into every hole in my face as she continues spewing her anger. “You helped her kill me. Now I’m going to repay the favor.” She takes a kitchen knife from her pocket, pointing it against my throat.

I try to reach for the knob barely within reach and roll it into my hand. It burns the tips of my fingers, but I resist the sudden urge that instinctually rings through my whole body telling me to let go. This will burn my entire hand if I grab it, but it will hurt Lily more if I go through with this. A part of me can’t see Malva as the one who’s beating me. Instead, I see Lily forced to do her heinous acts, being tossed around like a rag doll. I need to hit her over the head with the knob because my only other choice is to lay here and die. I know Lily is in there somewhere, but I’m in no control to be able to pull her out.

Wait, I remember what Lily told me.

“If she ever takes control of my body, punch me, beat me with a bat, shoot me if you need to. I don't care.”

I need to get those people out. I made a promise to her that I would. They don’t deserve to burn to death after everything we’ve been through, especially that child.

Oh god, if I don’t get out, that child will die.

I can’t let that happen. I’m the only one who can save her; if I die here, so will she. I just hope that Lily will forgive me for this. She’ll understand.

I keep eye contact with them and grip the knob. The searing of my skin goes cold for a moment before it begins to string through layers of skin.

“You know what?” Malva coughs into my face, pushing the knife closer to my neck, “If I’m going down, I’m taking this entire damn project with me!”

I lift it up, and in one quick swing, the ball hits Lily right on the side of her head. Her body suddenly goes limp as she falls to my side, completely knocked out. In one big push, I slide her body off of me and kick the knife to the other side of the room.

Lily?

There’s no blood on the side of her head, so I hope she’s just unconscious. I didn’t kill her, right? Oh god, please tell me I didn’t kill her.

I put my two fingers on her neck, feeling the rapid pulse begin to slow. My breathing stops for a moment before it finds a regular resting rhythm. Oh, thank goodness, she’s still alive.

The blistering red circle in the palm of my hand and inside my fingers begins to pinch with the sting of a burn, but I can't get caught up in this simple pain right now. I need to get out of here! No, I need to get to that floor, the one Lily told me where everyone is. I need to go back to the detention floor.

As I begin to run towards the elevator, I turn back to see Lily’s unconscious body in the middle of the room. I hate Malva with my whole heart, but a part of me screams that I can’t leave my friend behind. It doesn’t matter what she’s trying to hide down here or what Imelda is forcing herself not to tell me, she’s helped me to the best of her ability, and I can’t abandon her here.

I try to lift Lily’s unconscious body, but the fatigue from the smoke makes her as heavy as cement. There’s no way I can pick her up; instead, I grab her two arms and, with short bursts of energy, tug her body across the floor and drag her towards the elevator door. I slap the button and hold the door open with my foot, as I continue to push and pull her body across the burning floor. Stairs would probably be safer in the long run, but I can’t waste time looking for them. I need to work with what I have.

The air in here is a bit cleaner, but the fumes still find their way in. I stumble to take the green-painted key out of my pocket and insert it into the elevator. My finger repeatedly spams the elevator shut, keeping the air just a bit cleaner. The rest of the buttons begin to glow. Which one was it to go to release them? I think it was five?

“Six is detention. Floor eight has the dorms, so that’s probably where Coroz will be.” Imelda finally returns. She’s been here the entire time, and now he finally responds to a question? Now is not the time to be holding secrets, we need to work together if we want to get out of here alive. As I reach for the button for the sixth floor, a sudden hesitation makes me second guess. “Go to floor seven,” thinks Imelda.

Why?

“If we go to floor six, you’ll run around with no clue where you need to be,” Imelda thinks, “Floor seven has cameras. Maybe we can get a better idea of where to go from there.”

Good idea. Now is not the time to be flying blind.

I shift my finger over to floor seven and slowly plummet back into the depths of this facility.

As I stand in the twitching elevator, a sudden migraine begins to pound in my head. My heart begins to race faster than ever, though it’s not from adrenaline.

Something is terribly wrong within my head.

Imelda’s eyes peering through my own has become a second sense I have grown used to. However, in the back of my mind, a thought settles in. A weight in my chest grows heavy as this feeling of another pair of eyes staring at me from within feels new once again. No, it’s more than that. My thoughts have learned to intertwine with Imelda’s almost rhythmically, and though it feels crammed at times, we move around each other. There is a thought, unlike hers, that keeps repeating time and time again.

“Forget about the kid. Get out.”

What is happening to me?

The elevator slows for a moment, snapping me out of my train of thought. Are the cables beginning to give in? If they are, this escape route will only last for a while; so I must work fast. I leave the key for the elevator inside the slot, don’t want to risk losing it in the rubble of collapsing rooms. Then, I place the rest of the keys between my fingers to add blades to my knuckles.

I have been as kind as possible for a good amount of my stay, but unfortunately, that can only get me so far. I said I wanted to leave here without blood on my hands, but the truth is that’s exactly what I needed to escape. The only reason why I’m alive is because the times I’ve fought gave me windows of opportunities, and the times I didn’t, other people did it for me. Stabbing Malva’s foot and crushing her hand was a necessity. It allowed me to make it as far as I am now. Coroz’s threats put him in a position of power over the two of us in the chip, so I need to give that same energy back. If I need to fight, I’ll fight with the intention to leave them unable to chase me. I won’t kill, though. No, killing is crossing a line.

I don’t think I can kill, even if I wanted to. I don’t think I want to.

I’m sorry, Lily, if you return as Malva, I can’t promise I won’t hurt you again. I also know there's the probability that I could run into Coroz within these halls. Who knows what else he can do if he could get a tester from Malva? I’m a target on his kill list too, so if he even tries to get near me, I won't resist plunging these into his chest.

“Forget about the kid. Get out.”

I can’t help but turn around, hoping to meet the gaze of someone…or something that is staring back at me. There’s only the elevator wall and Lily’s body.

“Floor seven” screeches the leftovers of the elevator’s voice. I have to leave Lily in the shaft; as I don’t have the energy to be able to carry her with me. The metal screeches open to reveal a smokey security room of monitors displaying cameras on the eighth floor. This floor has joined the collective fire, and the smoke from the floors above is seeping in. I place the swivel chair between the elevator door to ensure it doesn't leave without me. There must be at least twenty monitors flashing in different rooms and parts of the halls. The screams echo through the speakers, some people begging for their lives in the flaming cells while others are on their knees performing whatever prayers come to them.

I look around the room for something to tell me where to go. Something to let me know where people are. Below the monitors, there’s a table with a lone wireless keyboard and a clipboard. Attached to the clipboard is a piece of printed paper with a table labeled with three columns: Name, Number, Room.

Under Name, it lists out from top to bottom: Liam, Michael, Jamie, Mary, Alaya, Dallas, Annie, Jada, Imelda, and Coroz. The rows with the names Dallas and Imelda are crossed out. The names Jada, Annie, and Coroz are highlighted in purple.

Under Number, it lists out from top to bottom: LI307, MI207, JA308, MA208, AL108, N/A, AN409, JA209, IM109, and CO309

I’m guessing these are the labels for our chips, but I must be reading this wrong. I remember from Coroz’s explanation that the beginning is the first two letters of our name, and the number represents the chip inserted into our heads during surgery. Does that mean Imelda was successful? No, that can’t be right. Then, why are you in my head?

In a sudden gasp, the clearest memory I have ever seen from Imelda replays in my head. I watch as Lily gets shoved into a cell by Malva, and Imelda heaves as she sprints down a hall. With no elevator key in hand, Imelda runs toward her final mission. My heart pounds as fast as her legs move, not to save her life, but to find the rest of the chips. With a sharp right turn and an even sharper left turn, Imelda busts into the compact lab. Malva’s heels violently clap against the ground as they get closer and closer, causing Imelda’s hands to tremble in panic. With violent tugs, the lab drawers clash their way open as she hunts for the chips. Her heart skips a beat as she opens a drawer to find the supply of chips. This portion of the memory is recognizable, as I got glimpses of it from when I was actually in the lab. The small devices pile in her hands as fast as she can grab them, but as she raises her arm to smash them on the floor, the lab’s door swings open.

Bang!

With one fatal shot, Imelda’s chest burns with the raging heat of a bullet, but that sensation is quickly overpowered.

Bang!

A second shot rings out, and the bottom half of my face goes numb to avoid the feeling of her jaw meeting a bullet, but the memory still pierces through my mind. The blood clots that have slid down my own throat make the sense of this memory too tangible, as my throat vibrates with the plead to cough. Though in Imelda’s case, it never mattered how much she coughed. No, when blood is pouring from the remains of your misconfigured face in a straight passage down your throat, it doesn’t matter how much you cough or swallow, it won’t change how discomforting your end will be.

With a loud thud, she falls back and lets her head smack against the lab’s floor. The chips clatter against the ground, and Imelda wheezes for some glimpse of mercy. As she stumbles, two more shots ring out as two sharp burns pierce through my own torso in recollection.

Though the first half of this memory is one that I’ve seen, what proceeds next is entirely foreign.

With blurry vision, she watches the ceiling shift as someone grabs her by the legs and drags her out of the room. The memory gaps demonstrate her getting dragged down a hall, put into an elevator, and then placed on an operating table. The belts tightly push against her bleeding torso. Every part of her wants to fight back, to scream and rip her way out of this hellscape. Despite this, the blood that’s been drained from her body leaves her with hardly enough energy even to scream. Every squirm ends in her numb muscles trembling as they give out their last bursts of energy. An ice-cold knife pierces Imelda’s head, slicing through every nerve in the skin on her skull.

“What are you doing?!” Imelda wanted to ask as she gasped and attempted to put the line of words together through the leftovers of her vocal cords. The bleeding in her lungs overwhelmed her speaking ability, and blood filled her organs like a river, spilling out with every cough. A bone saw buzzed beyond her vision as Malva said, “I’m not going let you go to waste.”

Imelda had a clear understanding of how this facility worked, technology and all, but this was something that she could have never suspected. All possible scenarios of what Malva was attempting to do ran through her head at once, but that deep primal fear of the unknown blurred her judgment to the point where all thoughts just became noise. It was a flashing realization of all the noise coming together that made her realize what was going on.

The sound of the saw tearing at her skull traveled through her head and out her ears. The blinding operation room lights made her vision white as more and more of her skull came apart in chunks. With a moist squish, Malva’s long nails made their way into the crevices of Imelda’s brain. She knew at that moment that Malva was trying to retrieve her chip.

“There you are,” Malva gleamed. With a quick tug, Imelda felt nothing. It was blank. Empty. Alive, but not living. A void with no tangible body to ground herself within.

In the blink of an eye, Imelda gasps alive inside the chip. No longer the host of her own body, she sat up in the infinite plane, baffled by what just happened. She ran through her memories to see how she could have possibly arrived here. Upon connecting the dots, Imelda let the grief flow over her, knowing that her body was dead. Imelda stood up, unknowing as to what she was, and screamed into the infinite abyss. Maybe in hopes that someone would come and save her? No, this was a scream of defeat.

The first couple of screams, she begged for it not to be true, trying to tell herself that there was no way that it ended like this. The second wave of screams was in anger, as she pounded her fist into the ground cursing every name on her mind: Coroz, Malva…and Lily. Imelda then sat down, not so much screaming but yelling into the void for some sort of explanation. Was she just here temporarily until she awakes? There’s got to be some way for her to come back. Her life flashes before her eyes, as she reflects everything that’s going to be left behind. Unknowing of what’s coming next in this new form of un-dead life, she wept at the thought of the people she may never see again and the moments she will never live.

This cycle continued time and time again until the memory jumps into my awakening after the surgery. The memory plays through my eyes, but I feel it through Imelda’s consciousness. She watches the movie of me, terrified as I stumble around the cell. Although she couldn’t control it, some part of her was relieved in knowing that this wasn’t exactly a for-sure end. She didn’t know everything, but Imelda knew that there was something to be done here. As she “meets” me for the first time, it also sparked the beginning of some sort of acceptance.

Many parts of her were missing as she was nothing more than memories and a consciousness transferred into ones and zeros. A fate worse than death. All that was left of her were the silent numbers that ran through my brain to encode what could be the closest thing to represent Imelda Tan.

I pull myself out of the flashback and back to reality. It all makes sense now. That’s why Imelda isn’t a complete consciousness in my chip, but a faded one barely strung together. She never needed to transfer. Someone took the chip out of her head and put it into mine. I see the leftovers of her consciousness, a literal dead woman walking. My stomach turns inside out thinking about it. Imelda’s memory flows into me with disgust. They didn’t know she was still there, so they put her in me, thinking I wouldn’t notice.

“I’m sorry you had to find out like this,” Imelda thinks.

No, I’m sorry you suffered such a terrible fate. You’ve put all of your efforts into saving me because you didn’t want me to end up the same way. I don’t think I could ever thank you enough for just existing. Despite your pain and suffering, you’ve always been here to protect me. To guide me. To make sure that I would never be alone. Even when I didn’t notice, you still helped. I’ll get us out, for both of us.

A single tear drops from my eye that isn’t my own appears in the corner of my eyes with tears of joy.

The smoke causes me to gag and choke as it tears apart my lungs. I was so caught up in this realization that I didn’t notice how much worse the air quality got. I just need to find the cell numbers, and I’ll be out of here. As I look into the cameras, I notice the floor with the locked doors has numbers, then look down at the paper.

Under Cell, it lists out from top to bottom: #5, #1, #3, #4, #6, #2, #2, #7, #7, N/A.

Annie is on the opposite side of the hall, so I need to get there quickly.

“Jada?” I hear Lily mumble, standing up in the elevator. Is that Lily? I can't risk another fight with Malva, there are still people out here who need my help. I march towards the elevator, clenching the keys in my fist. With a swift kick, I launch the chair out of the elevator, slam the button for the eighth floor, and push Lily against the wall. My arm reclines back, keys aiming for her throat just in case she tries to pick another fight with me.

“Jada, wait!” she screams, placing her arms in the air. “I’m sorry, please, I’m sorry! I-I-I-I…!” Lily’s accent has returned. She stares at me with the same eyes she gave Malva. “Please don’t hurt me,” she stumbles. “I’m sorry!”

I let go of her and sign, “I need help letting them out.”

“Oh...oh my goodness, I-I-I don’t know how to help I-” she stutters.

I take the keys out of my fist and shake them in front of her, asking, “Annie’s?”

“R-right,” she stumbles, looking through the keys and grabbing one away from the others. “This one!”

I snatch it from her hands and take that key off the ring. “You take the others up. I’ll get Annie out.”

Still disoriented from her sleep, Lily looks at the keys in disbelief. “I-I don’t know. What if Malva comes back?”

“I’ll take care of her,” I sign, putting the key between my fingers and creating a fist. Lily's jaw drops, feeling the side of her head. Her mouth opens, trying to string together something to say, before just releasing a sigh of disappointment.

“B-before Ellie was able to take over,” she stammers, “I-I was able to call the authorities. They’re on their way.” she glares down at the hand which I burned with the doorknob, “-And what happened to your hand?! Goodness, you could have –.”

“Don’t worry about me,” I sign. “You need to lead them out. Can you bring them to the elevator?”

“I’m afraid not, my dear,” The elevator trembles for a moment. “It seems like it’s about to collapse with only our weight. I don’t believe a group of panicking people would be willing to stay under the weight limit, but I can show them to the staircase. What about you? What are you going to do?”

“I’m going to Annie directly,” I sign.

“Alright, will I meet you back here?”

“Yes,” I sign back.

“Please, please don’t take too long.” The elevator drops a bit, the cables crackling and echoing in the compact chamber. “The cables will not hold on for much longer. Please, just be quick and come back to me.”

“I will…” I begin signing, before taking a moment to process what to say next. With hesitation, I sign, “I promise I’ll return.”

The elevator’s broken speaker screams “Floor eight” in a demonic voice as the doors tremble their way open. Lily and I run through the hall, trying not to step on the burning ceiling tiles that fall as we navigate through the labyrinth. We both bash open the door before us and pause to take in the disaster.

The place is crumbling, chunks of the tiled ceiling drop in flames, and I’ve never seen so much smoke. With my fingers tightly wrapped around the key, I sprint out; Lily suddenly screams, “Wait!”

She takes off her lab coat, wrapping the thick material around my nose and mouth; she coughs, “You’re going to need this a lot more than me.” I reach in for a hug, but Lily takes a step back in hesitation. She gives me a light smile and wheezes, “Now go save her!”

I run back the way I came; Lily follows close behind.

“Look out!” Lily yells.

Cr-ack!

I jump to my side as a tile falls where I stood, and the roof collapses on one of the cells. My heart sinks as the cries from within fall to a sudden silence, and I turn my eyes away from the scene. I shouldn’t dare to find out what happened to that person, instead I need to get to Annie before her cell collapses too.

As I get closer to the door, a high-pitched scream becomes more and more prominent. My bare feet scratch against the burning floor even faster. I need to get to her in time. Please, let me get there in time.

I reach cell number two, my quivering hand continuously missing the keyhole.

“Breathe, Jada,” Imelda thinks. “You got this kiddo.” I grab the handlebar to ground myself and finally get it in. With a quick swing, I meet Annie’s tear-filled eyes. Her lips tremble in pain, and one of her arms reaches out to me.

“Please! Please help me!” she wails out. I gasp, noticing that half of the roof had already collapsed on top of her. The immense weight of the roof crushes the lower half of her petite body as blood seeps out from under the rubble. She continues to cry out in pain, moving whatever part of her body she can in an attempt to get out.

“She’s not going to be able to run,” Imelda thinks.

That’s fine. I’ll carry her.

“You don’t have the strength or energy for that.”

I need to try.

“How are you planning on getting her out?”

I don’t know. I’ll do whatever it takes.

I run into the flaming room, but something odd catches my attention. A portion of her thick hair is much shorter than the rest. No, this is a good portion on the back of her head, leaving a concave in her coils.

“Check for operation scars,” Imelda commands.

What? Lily said she never operated on her. Are you implying that she’s lying to us?

“Kid, just check.”

I pull apart the hair, revealing operation scars. I gasp, feeling the world around me stop for a moment. No. No, this can’t be. She didn’t. She couldn’t have, right? No, maybe this was Malva’s doing. I know Malva did some awful things, but…this is another kind of evil. I try to regain my focus, but nothing works. This isn’t happening, no! This can’t be real!

“Series get their operations all done at once. Which series is she a part of?”

Though she does not have a tattoo, Imelda recollects what was on the paper. “AN409”, the last of my series and the replacement for Imelda. She’s successful too.

“Are you going to help me?” Annie cries out as she wriggles in the rubble. I gently lay a hand on her cheek, nodding yes

I’m wasting time questioning; I just need to get her out. I try to get ahold of the bottom of the rubble, the metal searing my skin.

“Please! Please it hurts!” she cries out.

I shake the idea of the pain out of my head, firmly grasping a chunk of the rubble. The metal bar burns my already blistered hand again, but I don’t flinch. Endure the pain. Your hands will be fine. It’s just a burn. I need to save her. The burning of the metal tears through my flesh, stinging every nerve in my hand. That’s ok. I just need to lift it a little bit so she can move.

My back begins to curve under the immense pressure; the strain in my legs is about to snap my hamstring in half. I don’t care. I just need to move it a bit.

“Kid, stop,” Imelda thinks, “You’re going to pull something.”

I don’t care. I don’t care. I don’t care! I will get her out! My back muscles pull so tight that they, too, might just snap, but I need to keep going.

The rubble hasn’t moved an inch. Maybe I’m not putting enough pressure.

“Ow!” Annie screams, “It hurts!”

I pull as hard as I can, shaking the rubble to somewhat loosen it.

Crack!

I see the other half of the roof deteriorating right above. This rubble needs to move faster, or the roof will collapse on both of us. As much as I pull it, it won’t budge.

“You need to leave,” Imelda commands.

No. No, I’m not leaving a child behind. You said it yourself that she needs to be saved. She can’t be another death. I can do it!

I look within the rubble and see her legs, mangled and contorted beyond repair.

Snap!

Another bone snaps as the rubble shifts and adds more pressure. Annie shrieks in pain as her crying gets louder.

Please, she can’t die like this. This is no way to go. I can save her!

A sharp pain stabs my back as the muscle recoils and tears into a ball. With a screech, I fall to the floor, the muscles pulsating and straining as the nerve pain shoots to my shoulders and neck. I pulled my back. No! No, I can’t. How can I get her out? Think!

Cra-ck!

The roof above me is about to collapse. Imelda was right. My back is screwed, and I need to get out of here.

I stumble out of the cell, hearing her cry, “No! Please don’t leave me! Lady, please! Lady!”

With one final stumble, the room behind me collapses. Tears fall down my face as I watch the blood seep from under the mess.

No. God, please don't tell me. Annie! Her cold hazel eyes stare me down through the rubble with fresh tears still falling. I understand now. That was what she had, that emotion I couldn’t place my finger on. Her innocent eyes are dead.

Smacking my torn body on the wreckage, I try to pull my way back in. She can’t be dead. The excruciating pain from my back fibers ripping apart forces me to collapse on top of the rubble. Please, let me save her. I’m not too late. I can’t be too late.

“Leave her,” Imelda thinks, “You need to get out before the hall collapses too.”

Lily’s lab coat falls off my face with the pressure of my jaw dropping open. Something inside me finally boils over. My beaten and bruised knuckles pound against the wall of wreckage. A deep rage burns through my chest, my breath rapidly builds, and in one sudden intake, my lungs fill to their capacity. A million thoughts run through my head, each one screaming with more anger than the last, begging to be released in some way or form. They collect together, and in a violent scream harrowed with all my regrets, the word “Fuck!” rings throughout the hall. A second guttural scream pushes its way out of my lungs, leaving me breathless and gasping as I fall into a deep sob.

I didn’t save her. God, what did I do wrong? She’s dead because of me. More screams fill the hall. I can’t get up. I killed her. I could have been there, but I wasn’t. She didn’t deserve this. Dying scared and mangled should never have been her fate.

I don’t deserve to get out. I look down the hall, seeing the other cell doors open in the distance. Everyone must have gotten out by now. I’ll just be one more number to the death count. The outside world considers me dead, my funeral was probably already hosted, and there would be no purpose for me to go back out there. If I die here, if I go with her, then nothing would change. I can’t leave her like this. I can’t leave.

Imelda’s hand appears on my shoulder, “Kid,” she says in my ear in a comforting smooth voice. But it’s no use.

I want to be here with her. I don’t want to leave her alone again. I deserve this. I killed her.

“Kiddo, you know that’s not true,” Imelda’s voice speaks into my ear.

My lungs begin to choke and gag again with the smoke. It’s getting harder to breathe without Lily’s coat. I take it off of my neck and throw it on the ground. Is this why I was kept alive after everything? So that I can suffer one more time? Seems fair. The harder it gets to breathe, the more I contemplate. I should stay, shouldn’t I?

“You have people waiting for you. Lily is waiting for you! You can’t leave your whole life behind. Please, just get up.”

I killed her. I can’t believe I killed her.

“You did not kill her,” Imelda says, “If it’s anyone’s fault, it’s those damn bastards Malva and Coroz.”

No, I killed her. I killed her…Did I kill her? No, no, wait. That’s not right. I didn’t kill her with my own hands. I tried to save her, but she died in the process. Imelda’s right. I didn’t directly kill her. I wasn’t the one who brought her here. Malva and Coroz did. They were the ones who brought her here in the first place. Coroz, he’s still alive, isn’t he?

“Jada.”

Malva may have paid for her deeds, but Coroz? Something else inside me snaps, and a boiling rage flows through my veins. A hatred, a wave of anger, I’ve never felt before. I can’t leave here until I know he’s paid for what he’s done.

“Leave this shithole, now.”

No. No that’s no longer an option. I will leave this wreck when I know that man is dead.

“I was hoping you’d be smarter than this,” a familiar voice says, hidden behind my thoughts.

“What are you doing here?” thinks Imelda.

What? No, it can’t be.

“Alright, alright,” says an additional thought, “Jada, I’m gon’na tell you now, you don’t got the time to do this. Get out, now.”

How? How are you in my chip?

“Don’cha remember our little chat?”

Right…back when I was asleep in Lily’s room.

“Listen, Jada. You’s got one chance to get outta here, and that’s right now. If you choose to do…whatever your revenge plan is, you’s gon’na die down here with the rest of us, and ya’ don’t want that, now do you?”

Trying to breathe again, I wrap Lily’s coat around my face. I’m still light-headed, but I can somewhat catch my breath through the thin layer of filtration. With quivering legs, I scatter to my feet and leave Annie’s tomb, limping down the hall with long pains firing up my back.

I stumble towards the elevator, the rage from Annie’s death still broiling within me. I meet Lily at the end of the hall. She waves at me to hurry, but I’m already going as fast as I can. “Everyone’s out! We need to go!” she says.

I ignore her remarks, step into the elevator, and hit the button for the sixth floor.

Lily steps in at the last minute, shocked at the option I chose. “J-Jada? That’s not the surface,” she remarks. I ignore her comment. The closer we get, the harder I breathe under her coat. The more pressure builds upon my fist, giving me pale knuckles. Lily takes notice and shutters, “J-Jada? Jada, where’s the child?” The rage-induced adrenaline keeps me paralyzed in my stance, trying not to release the time bomb inside of me, ticking down. I don’t have the heart to tell her without going into a raging fit. I keep my eyes on the door, unable to look at Lily as she stares at me. Lily shakes me by the shoulder, “Please, don’t tell me.” Lily tries to remain calm, but it rapidly fades away as she shakes me violently, “Annie. She’s alright, right?”

Lily knows already, but the truth is too much for her to bear. Her head leans on my shoulder as she tries to hold back tears, and I swiftly shove her off. She better not touch me again. I’m already on edge as it is.

“Jada, I’m so sorry. Please, don’t think any of this is your fault, ok? Whatever you are thinking of doing, we do not have the time.” I look at her soft eyes. She holds my face in her tiny hands. “Please. You did your best to save as many people as you could. This… she wasn’t your fault.”

“Floor six,” the elevator screeches with its leftover cords.

Lily tries to grab ahold of my arm, but I yank her off. I quickly sign, “No more than five minutes.”

I march my way down the burning hall, each step stronger than the last. The searing pain in my back only fuels my vexation.

“Don’t do it,” Imelda thinks.

Why not? This place is crumbling by the second. He’ll be burned beyond recognition before anyone notices.

“That’s exactly why. I have helped you make it this far, and I’m not going to let you die in a fire because of a grudge.”

It will be five minutes. The elevator was going to pass this floor, so why not take my chance?

“Ya’ know I can see you, right?”

Oh, I know. Trust me, I know.

“I can kill ya’ right now, ya’ know that?”

But you wont.

“And why not?”

You have a plan, don’t you, Coroz? I am your vessel to get out of here, and if you try to kill me, you won’t make it out either.

“Kiddo,” Imelda says “It’s not worth the risk.”

I’ll take my chances. I look down to find the pair of scissors I had dropped during my chase with Malva. They fit perfectly in my hands as I stagger towards his room.

Imelda goes quiet, her anxieties lying in the back of my mind. The door slams onto the wall with a swift swing and causes a couple more tiles to fall around Coroz’s unconscious body. The flames that rage inside me turn into a forest fire. Coroz’s messy shirt lays on the floor on the other side of the room, and his hand is zip-tied to the bed frame. I guess Malva went back to ensure he wouldn’t run off, either. Next to the bed lies his solved Rubik’s cube. The tester he stole from Malva is crookedly inserted into his back, barely over the many scars that run alongside his spine. The roof above his sleeping body is cracking and deteriorating, waiting for the right moment to fall.

“Well, well, well, what’s ya’ grand plan now?” his voice says in my head. “You’s not the killin’ kind. Nah, you’re too nice for tha-”

Get out of my head.

In a burst of rage, I sprint at him and plunge the scissors directly into the middle of his chest. It pierces through flesh and hits his sternum with a vicious crack.

Get out of my head.

I don’t think twice as I jab at the bone again, feeling the point of the scissors scratch upon the slippery surface and slice his skin more.

Get out of my head.

I mindlessly plunge the blade again.

And again.

And again.

Until I miss the sternum, and feel the point sink straight past skin into pure muscle. It rips through the fibers in seconds, but I feel every last rip through the reverberation of the handle. Pushing past it is a satisfying sink into his moving organs.

Get out of my head.

I dig deeper and deeper into his chest, not fully pulling out the blade but instead shoving it up and down as it continues to destroy the vital organs that keep his vessel running. Feeling his flesh rip under my blade causes the fire inside me to burn like never before. Tears stream down my face as another stronger wave of rage overcomes me. I begin to pull out the scissors and viciously jab into the same aperture again, feeling his bone scratching against the force and having to move around them to pierce through his organs. The scissors go flying out of my hand and into the hallway with a yank.

I step away, looking at my blood-covered hands. A smile paints itself across my face but soon wipes off with tears as I stomach the horrific crime I committed.

A cackle hides in the back of my mind, progressively growing louder and louder until it becomes maniacal, covering every corner of my mind.

“Ya’ lost ya’ mind, sweetie! Join the club!” With a delighted scream, he laughs, “Malva and I welcome ya’ with open arms!”

With a jump, I back away from him. I’m nothing like those two. I know I’m not!

Coroz giggles, “Like it or not, ya’ got more in common with Malva than your little friend Lily.”

Shut up.

“Ya’ both just use people for what cha’ need or throw them away, don’t cha’? I mean, that’s what cha’ shown me in the little bit of time I’ve gotten to know ya.’”

His words lay heavy, speaking the truth I didn’t want to hear. The way Lily looked at me in that elevator, how I was ready to kill her if Malva came back. I was prepared to kill anyone in that elevator ride to the monitor room. This can’t be the truth. I’m far from being like Malva, aren’t I? My blood-covered hands quiver with the answer.

“Well, it don't matter now. I said it once, and I’ll say it again: ya played me, Jada. But ya’ haven’t won this game just yet.” The image of Coroz’s smile stretching uncomfortably wide flashes in my vision.

“Interporlation complete.” says a voice from the tester. My spine shivers with a pulse of electricity, making me scratch myself all over my body. Within a couple of seconds, the sensation goes away.

“Trust me. I’ll be back to make ya’ suffer. Just not with these hands.” He laughs once again with pure insanity.

Oh god, what have I done? What am I doing?! Shit. Shit, shit shit!! I need to get out of here before I make another stupid decision. Slamming the door behind me, I leave that bastard’s body to burn.

This place is crumbling apart. Limping around the lab, I’m trying to avoid the falling foundation and puddles of gasoline. The more I run, the more light-headed I get.

Lily appears in the distance. She’s covering her mouth and nose with her shirt, waving for me to rush. My head becomes too light; the fumes are beginning to get to me. I stumble closer and closer, Lily’s yelling something, but everything is fading away. Sprinting into the flaming halls, she calls my name.

Suddenly, Lily runs into the hall, wrapping her arm around me to hold me up for the last couple of feet. “We need to go, Jada!” she yells, “We are almost there!” The elevator doors open, bright as heaven’s gate. My feet drag across the ground, burning the rest of the energy my aching body can give. The blood dripping from her cuts runs all along her arm and smears onto me. Despite my attempts to pull her off so she could get out, Lily won’t let go of me for anything. “Come on! Stay with me!”

Imelda appears again in the corner of my eye, running next to the two of us. I’m so close. We’re so close. It’s time to go home.

We finally stumble into the elevator, and Lily smashes the button for the first floor. I collapse to the floor, Lily going down with me. “We made it!” she cheers, tears streaming down her face. My torn muscles pinch every nerve down my spine as I let out a wheeze of pain. “Oh sorry, dear! Are you alright?” She asks, examining my back. I ignore the pain and join her laughter.

I give her a gentle smile and rest myself under her bleeding arm. Wait a minute, why is it covered in blood? It soaks the back of my neck, dripping down my shirt.

“What happened to your arm?” I sign. A drop of blood drips onto my forehead; I track it back to see a shattered lightbulb hanging above me.

I notice the glass shard in her opposite hand cutting her as she keeps a tight grip on it. “I was doing alright, holding Ellie down while moving around. Once you left and I was alone with her, this was the only way I could keep her at bay.” All across her arm, there are gashing cuts. Some of them would need stitches to heal; she got dangerously close to her wrist. I try to remove her coat to cover the wounds, but she lightly grips my hand and smiles. “Don’t worry about me. The authorities will help when we get there.”

I lay my head on her shoulder. All my energy drains from me; I can fall asleep on her. The screams still ring in my ears, and every time I try to close my eyes, I can see Annie’s innocent eyes staring right back at me through the wreckage. I lost the child, but Imelda says it wasn’t my fault. Maybe she’s right. I wasn’t the one who brought her here in the first place. I didn’t choose to kill Annie or Malva; there was one person I decided to kill. The guilt of stabbing Coroz with the scissors and leaving him to die settles in my stomach like a rock. Imelda was right. It seemed like a good idea before I did it, but now the dread of his blood on my hands looms over me. I don’t think that was the right decision.

He couldn’t have survived. There was no possible way. Should I be glad that he couldn’t have survived? Probably not. I’m not. I killed that bastard’s body before he could complete his plan.

I look to my side, and Imelda sits in the corner of my eye. Her beaming smile makes me laugh, putting a light crooked smile on my face. She’s upset that I was reckless in my last moments down there, but the excitement of getting out overshadows it.

The presence of Coroz breathing down my neck suddenly develops, cheerfully laughing in my ear. In the corner of my eye, he sits beside me, staring at me with an unnaturally stretched smile. I jolt around, screaming and kicking to get away from him. No, it can’t be.

“Are you alright, dear?” Lily questions.

He successfully got into my chip. He successfully got into my chip! Imelda! I don’t have a tester on me. I left it in the apartment. It’s ok. We can figure this out when I get out. I just hope that Imelda can deal with him until I get there.

For now, I only want to think about going home. Don’t look into his eyes. Think about the bright sky I haven’t seen in ages, the feeling of fresh air sweeping through my lungs. The idea of cooking with my papa. My mama and I baking together some not-so-well-done cookies and being able to hear my sister laugh about a dumb joke. I think of home and being alive. That’s all I want right now.

The elevator stops, shaking as it struggles to keep going. Our compact chamber echoes throughout with the sound of cables snapping, and slamming against the roof; the elevator free-falls one foot for every two feet it lifts us. Lily and I look at the monitor reading "floor four." We are nowhere near close to the surface.

"Jada, stay down!” Lily commands. “This elevator's not going to make it!" She looks at the screen in, not shock, but disappointment.

I thought we were going home. Stupid for me to think this story would have a happily ever after. Lily squeezes my hand with all her might and whispers, “I’m sorry.”

I think this is our ending. We tried to save as many people as possible but forgot about ourselves. At least Lily is here with me at the end of the day. I couldn’t have made it this far without her protecting me against Malva. And Imelda stayed with me until the end of the line; maybe that’s why we lasted this long. We looked out for each other. I carried her consciousness, and she showed me the way. Now, there’s nothing left to do except hold onto each other and hope for the best.

The elevator gives in, and we enter a free fall. It gets faster and faster the more we plunge, our aching heads vibrating against the wall. We dive for a few seconds, but the drop feels like hours. In an instant, Lily arches her tiny body over me, grabbing my neck and tucking my head into her stomach.

Boom!

A thundering crack blares through my skull and bounces out of my ears. I’m barely conscious but can’t move or open my eyes. Lily’s warm body presses down onto me. I can’t tell if she’s breathing or not. Is she dead? Her body crushes under the rubble of the broken elevator, taking the weight off of my body. I suppose it’s a matter of time before I get crushed too or suffocate under the weight; I’m just waiting for the rest of my senses to slip away. I didn’t want to go. I was so close. We were so close, but there was nothing left to do. At least it doesn't hurt as bad as getting shot or cut. Being left alone with my last thoughts for a couple of minutes and waiting for the pain to end isn’t the worst ending I could have. I’m okay with this. This is the end of our story.

A distant sound echoes into my hollow ears. “Hey! We have more survivors!”

The voices of strangers echo in the stuffy chamber; the sound of clunky metal rubble being removed is slipping away from my ears. Did someone find us? Lily’s body gets lifted from my crushed spine.

“We’ve got you….”

Everything is fading away, and the arms of a stranger pick me up. The intense light from their flashlights fights its way through my eyelids. Multiple voices mumble around my head as my body gets flipped around to be cradled in angelic arms. I can’t hold on any longer. I want to be alive again.

“Stay with us...stay with….”